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C. Mohney's avatar

I am in exactly the same position, Keely. I’m 36 years old, my partner and I have been together almost 8 years, and we both really want kids - we just can’t afford it. People always say “there’s no right time to have kids” but my partner and I both grew up in scarcity and we don’t want to pass the inevitable issues that come with being broke and overworked onto our hypothetical children. I know this logic means that only wealthy people end up having kids and that’s not right, but quality of life is important to us.

I also personally don’t want to have kids if it means I need to pass their care onto a family member. If I can’t be there for my children in all the ways I want to be as a new mother, then maybe it isn’t worth it for us to go down that path. It’s not as cut and dry as “poor families are happy too” because I grew up poor and it was really hard on my parents and it was really hard on us kids.

Everyone has different priorities and there’s no one right way to have kids, but if your goals and values don’t line up with your timeline, then what do you do?

Thank you for stating so eloquently what a lot of us millennials are going through, Keely. I keep thinking “what’s meant for you will not pass you by,” and I’m trying to believe it.

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Keely Semler's avatar

Thank you so so much for sharing. Quality of life is such an important aspect to consider. 💛

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Recovering Miss Independent's avatar

The tears im holding back while I read this at an indoor playground ! I’m definitely on the “go for it ! & you’ll know when it’s time” side 💚

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Keely Semler's avatar

🥹🤍 thank you for reading Claire.

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Fifi Mason's avatar

You echo so many of the things I’m facing and share in my own article.

I am grateful to have some paid leave options (now that I have a part time job) living in the UK. Also, health care costs are covered for me (just not IVF if I needed it). But gosh, you have another battle with all those healthcare costs to have a baby.

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