I had the pleasure of sitting down with Paula Mallis at her ranch in Ojai, California where we delve into conversation on the spiritual process of cycles (or circles) and being in communion with nature. As you tune in, you may hear us sipping tea or a bird chirping overhead in the old oak trees. This episode feels special as were fully immersed in the natural soundscape of her property.
Paula explains that circles create movement, as there is no definitive beginning or end. In her work as a circle facilitator, she takes participants through a four part process:
Invitation: The initiation into a new perspective or way of being.
Purification: The process of clearing out anything that no longer serves you.
Integration: Observing how things feel and a chance to reconfigure, as you bring more awareness into this process.
Completion: The death of a cycle; experiencing a sense of resolution and coming to your own conclusion.
Paula believes that these four steps are the pillars of a cycle and offer us the opportunity of healing.
We talk about how people often can get stuck in one of the steps. For example, some people spend their whole lives in an invitation. Or how someone can become addicted to fixing oneself in the purification process. Paula describes that it is also possible to experience two steps, for example an invitation and a completion, at the same time. The circle is constantly moving and it is up to the individual to go deeper in understanding one’s process in order to take responsibility.
She also shares about her recent reconnection with horses and how being in the company of horses has given her the chance to unlearn that which no longer serves her. What is really striking to me is Paula’s ability to explain the importance of making self honoring choices, and how we cannot truly be in service to others if we do not make decisions that are rooted in our wellbeing.
Since MOTHERLANDS is a podcast that honors the Mother in her infinite forms, I ask Paula about her experience of becoming a mother and how her perspective of motherhood has shifted over time.
This photograph of Paula was taken on medium format film by Matt Bockal.
If you are interested in learning more about Paula, please visit her website.
2:17 The power of silence and reconnecting with nature
10:02 Paula’s journey with horses
12:28 Dealing with childhood shame and unlearning your way through resistance
18:52 Paula’s evolution of understanding motherhood
20:29 The connection between birth work, cycles, and understanding death
23:16 Getting stuck in a cycle of purification
25:26 The energy of control
27:12 Invitations in Paula’s life
28:13 Permission
30:19 Integration + self-honoring choices
32:30 birth work and motherhood
38:24 Reclaiming your space and honoring the space between
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